Common Formative Assessment Testing: Monday, Nov 29 to Monday, December 7

 

WHAT'S HAPPENING MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29 THROUGH MONDAY, DECEMER 7

Quick overview:  Monday, November 29  preparation for Common Formative Assessment, the CFA

                              Tuesday, Dec 1: Day 1 testing

                              Wednesday, Dec 2: all students who receive extended time must come to regular                                                                        office hours. You will be with co teacher or classroom teacher.                                                                    This is a regular async day.  A doctor's / dentist's appt on a                                                                           testing day? This is when your substitute time.

                             Thursday, December 3: Day 2 testing

                             Friday, December 4:  half day; no testing There will be a short in class assignment

                             Monday, December 7: Day 3 testing. All tests must be submitted by the end of class.

          If you are absent, you must have a parent or guardian notify the office. 

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Monday/ Tuesday, November 23/24 Writing your own leads from notes

empty chairs 

1. You are writing for a newspaper near this accident. Write a lead for this afternoon’s paper.

WHO: Amtrak train called the Colonial

WHAT: Collided with three Conrail locomotives on a switch that merges four tracks into two

WHEN: 1:30 p.m. yesterday

WHERE: Baltimore, Maryland

WHY: Larry Case, Amtrak spokesman: The Conrail diesels, like the Amtrak,

were northbound. The Conrail had apparently run a stop sign.

OTHER: At least 15 dead, 175 injured. Worst accident in Amtrak’s 132-year history.

2. From the following facts, write a lead.

Who: a nuclear weapon with a yield equivalent to 150,000 tons of TNT

What: detonated

Where: 40 miles from a meeting of pacifists and 2,000 feet beneath the surface of

Pahute Mesa in the Nevada desert

When: Tuesday

Why: to test the weapon

How: not applicable

Other information: Department of Energy officials are the source; 450 physicians and peace activists

were gathered to protest continued nuclear testing by the United States.

3. From the following facts, write the first two paragraphs of a news article.

Who: 7-year-old boy missing for three years.

What: found

Where: in Brick Township, N.J.

When: Monday night

Why: not applicable

How: A neighbor recognized the child’s picture when it was shown after the

movie Adam: The Song Continues and called police.

Other information: Police arrested the boy’s mother, Ellen Lynn Conner, 27; she faces Oregon charges

of kidnapping and interference with a custody warrant.

4. From the following facts, write the first two paragraphs of a news article.

Who: 40 passengers

What: evacuated from a Northwest Airlines jet, Flight 428

Where: at the LaCrosse, Wis. Municipal Airport

When: Monday following a flight from Minneapolis to LaCrosse

Why: A landing tower employee spotted smoke near the wheels

How: not applicable

Other information: There was no fire or injuries; the smoke was caused by hydraulic fluids leaking

onto hot landing brakes, according to Bob Gibbons, a Northwest spokesman

Thursday/ Friday, November 19/20: cleaning up leads

 News of the Day:

Your time to finish cleaning up the six leads. Please send these along no later than Sunday at noon, after which the assignment is late and worth on 75 points.   Thank you!

Directions: Open up a google document. What you will find below are six very bad news stories. Your job is to write a correct lead, not recreate the whole story. 

Tips for Writing Leads

The Five W’s and H

News writing strives to answer “The Five W’s and H:” that is, Who, What, When, Where, Why and How. Good leads answer as many of these questions as possible in a single sentence. When writing a lead, it helps to think about which of these facts is the most vital for readers to know.

Keep It Short

Keep It Simple

Don’t clutter up the lead with unnecessary adjectives or adverbs. Also make sure that your lead only discusses one idea to avoid confusion.

Write in Active Voice!!!!!

Avoid all forms of the verb “to be.” Common exceptions including writing about fatalities (“two people were killed Thursday”) and when discussing police activity (“two people were arrested”).  Passive voice is often the result of incomplete reporting.

Structure Your Lead Properly

Put your most crucial information at the very beginning of the sentence. Important secondary information can go in subsequent sentences. Not following this practice is called “burying the lead.” If you need attribution in your lead, make sure it goes toward the end of the sentence because it is less important than the information itself.

 1. Roger Datolli, 67, of 845 Conway Road, a retired attorney and husband of Mayor Sabrina Datolli, who is serving her fourth term as mayor, was injured in a three-vehicle accident Thursday afternoon around 3:20 p.m. at the intersection of Warren and Davidson avenues, suffering a broken leg and several broken ribs when the car he was driving was struck broadside by a pickup truck driven by Jerry R. Harris, 31, of 2245 Broadway Ave., and then was pushed into the path of another vehicle.

2. The city Planning and Zoning Commission met Thursday for its regularly scheduled  meeting and voted 3-2 to approve a joint plan by the city's Council of Government and the local Chamber of Commerce to renovate the core downtown business district by building a convention center and sports arena complex that will serve as a site for business meetings and conferences as well as possibly host a minor league hockey team on the Olympic-size ice rink planned for the site.

3.Wondering whether or not it was legally possible and if they could muster enough votes to support their desire to see changes implemented in the downtown historic section of the city, city council members Sandra Gandolf and Alice Cycler at the regular monthly city council meeting raised the issue of having the city's planning and zoning commission look into the possibility of creating a local board to oversee changes to buildings within the six-block downtown historic district.

4.  Because the victim contributed in large measure to his own death by refusing medical attention that might have saved his life after the incident, James K. Arico, the 47-year-old man accused of stabbing him in the chest during an argument seven months ago, was allowed to plead guilty to assault today and was sentenced to six months in the county jail. He had been charged with murder.

5. At a news conference held at the Department of Energy in Washington, D.C., Monday afternoon the head of the agency told reporters that the Senate's approval of a plan to dump nuclear waste material in the Nevada desert near Las Vegas  will provide a safe haven for  more than 77,000 tons of radioactive waste.

6. Tracy Tibitts, Lisa Drolshagen and Dorothy Brayton, all members of the Delta Delta Delta sorority at Iowa State University, appeared in a local courtroom this morning and testified that the defendant, Steven House, appeared drunk when he got into his car to leave the party moments before he struck and killed the pedestrian.

TURKEYS to share

 

Tuesday, November 17 passive voice exercises

               At this point in time, I should have received your lead questions and analysis.  The grades are up-to-date in powerschool. Thank you to the many who sent along their work on time.

Newsleads are written in the active voice. Below is a review and practice examples. After reviewing the material,  you will demonstrate your understanding of active and passive voice through the examples at the end of the blog.  This assignment is due by midnight tomorrow for full credit. Materially received afterwards will be deducted 25 points.

A Brief Grammatical Refresher

PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME AND READ CAREFULLY. THIS INFORMATION IS KEY TO WRITING A NEWS ARTICLE.
The key to understanding passive voice lies in accepting the fact that it's strictly a grammatical term which relates to how sentences are constructed. A quick grammar brush-up might be useful here. Read over the following:

The subject of a sentence is, essentially, what the sentence is about. It's usually a person, place, or thing. In most sentences, the subject is either doing some sort of action or being described. Almost all of the time, the subject is at the very beginning of an English sentence. (e.g. "Bob is silly.")

The object of a sentence appears at the opposite end, always after the action in the sentence. It, too, is usually a person, place or thing, and in most sentences it's the person, place, or thing to which the action is being done (e.g. "I laughed at Bob."). Not all sentences have objects, of course—just look at "Bob is silly," above.


Verbs are action words. Sometimes they're just used to describe states of existence (e.g. "Bob is silly."), but in most sentences you write they'll be actions (e.g. "I laughed at Bob.")
Understanding passive voice really all comes down to verbs. Whenever you put a verb in a sentence (that is: all the time), you are using one of two kinds of "voice," which is really just a fancy way of saying that you're deciding how "to indicate the relation of the subject [of the sentence] to the action." (Definition quoted from OED Online).

A Concise Explanation of Passive and Active Voice

There are two types of voice in English: passive and active.
Active voice is the most common, and results when the subject of a sentence is also the agent. That is, when the subject is the person, place, or thing doing the action. So you might say, for example, "I hit John with a stick." That's in the active voice because you, the subject of the sentence, are also the agent—you are doing the action, hitting John with a stick. (John is the object, and also the patient, being hit.)

Passive voice, on the other hand, results when the object of the sentence is doing the action (or is the agent), and the subject is receiving it (or is the patient). To continue abusing John, we might say "John was hit with a stick." This is passive voice because John, the subject of the sentence, is the one being acted upon.

To spot passive voice, here's all you need to do:

Examine the relationship between the subject, object, and verb of a sentence. If the object is the thing doing the verb, the sentence is passive. If the subject is the thing doing the verb, the sentence is active.

Problems with Passive Voice

For the most part, you probably want to write in the active voice when possible. That's because sentences written in active voice are generally clearer, more direct, and more compact.

The main problems with passive voice, then, are as follows:

It can be wordy. A lot of the time, passive voice requires awkward, lengthy, convoluted sentences instead of short, punchy, straightforward ones. "I found Jim's body odour atrocious" will end up "Jim's body odour was found to be atrocious by me"—yikes!

Most of the time, moving passive voice sentences to active voice will tighten your prose, make it more readable, and as a result confuse your readers less.

It can be vague. Take this example: "Bob was hit by a stick." With a sentence like that in your story, readers are going to be missing some important information: who was doing the hitting? Too much vagueness like this isn't only off-putting, but it can actually confuse your readers about what's going on so much that they'll have to either closely re-read the whole scene, or just give up and go read something else.
By moving vague passive voice constructions into active voice, you can make your story's action crystal clear.

Active Voice

Passive Voice

YOUR TURN    Due by midnight tomorrow for full credit. Any work received after that time will be deducted 25 points.

1. The school was struck by lightning.


2. This morning the burglar was arrested by the police.


3. One type of air pollution is caused by hydrocarbons.


4. An elaborate supper for the miners was prepared by Mr. Patel and his children.


5. The cookies were stolen by the Mad Hatter.


6. New York City's Central Park was designed in 1857 by F.L. Olmsted and Calbert Vaux.


7. It was decided by the court that the contract was invalid.


8. The first commercially successful portable vacuum cleaner was invented by a janitor who was allergic to dust.


9. After Leonardo da Vinci's death, the Mona Lisa was purchased by King Francis I of France.


10. The allegorical novel Animal Farm was written by British author George Orwell during World War II.
11. Before the semester was over, the new nursing program had been approved by the Curriculum Committee and the Board of Trustees.
12.  With five seconds left in the game, an illegal time-out was called by one of the players.
13. Later in the day, the employees were informed of their loss of benefits by the boss herself.
14. The major points of the lesson were quickly learned by the class, but they were also quickly forgotten by them.
15. For several years, Chauncey was raised by his elderly grandmother.
16. An unexpected tornado smashed several homes and uprooted trees in a suburb of Knoxville.
17. Participants in the survey were asked about their changes in political affiliation.
18. Tall buildings and mountain roads were avoided by Raoul because he had such a fear of heights.
19. "The Yellow Wallpaper" was written by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.
20. I was surprised by the teacher's lack of sympathy.

Rewrite the following paragraph is active voice. Note some are already in active voice. Read carefully!

Last summer our house was painted by me. The job took about two weeks. First, the exterior was washed using warm water and a mild detergent. Then all the chinks and pores in the walls were sealed with putty. After the putty had had a chance to dry, the exterior could be painted. A latex paint was used because it is easy to apply and cleans up with water. A whole week was needed to finish this part of the job. I was very careful to apply the paint evenly because I did not want to have to apply two coats. A color was used that was very close to the original color. Our house is a two-story house, which meant that a tall ladder was needed to do the second story. The paint can had to be balanced on the top rung of the ladder while I worked. When the job was finished, a great deal of satisfaction was felt by me. I had to pat myself on the back. Even my dad said that a good job was done.

Friday, Monday, November 13/ 16 Evaluating leads

 News brief: 

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Evaluating Good and Bad Leads

Assignment: 

Open a word document and copy the fifteen leads below. Under each, please evaluate and explain why or why not each is effective. What works? What flaws do you observe? I suggest that you first refer back to your responses from Tuesday/ Thursday's reading/ questions  Things to consider:type of lead, voice and word choice.  (This will count as a writing grade, as the material is based upon the previous work. 

Please send along by midnight on Thursday.

1. A Baptist minister was convicted of drunken driving Tuesday and sentenced to 30 days in jail after a jury saw a police video of his failed sobriety test.
2. Police Chief Barry Kopperud is concerned about juvenile crime in the city.
3. During a press conference in her office at 8 a.m. today, Mayor Sabrina Datolli spoke about the city's need for more parks.
4. With no debate, the City Council passed an ordinance Thursday to help fight crime by installing more street lights in three neighborhoods.
5. Loans become popular way for students to conquer costs of college.
6. The campus is home to a variety of stray and wild animals.
7. Four years ago AIDS victim Edwin Jimenez, 22, learned he had only six months to live.
8. Do not cross off Dec. 1 in your countdown toward Christmas. Instead, make plans to attend World AIDS Day on the Campus Green.
9. A panel of seven local journalism professionals discussed important media issues, including the role of the press, at the university Tuesday.
10. The week of Homecoming will be filled with numerous activities and freebies for students.
11. The right to bear arms may soon be taken away from anyone who steps onto public school grounds in the city.
12. A teen-age driver lost control of her car Tuesday night, paralyzing herself and killing a passenger. A 16-year-old riding in the back seat walked away only scratched and bruised.
13. Around 3 p.m. Friday a bank on Hillcrest Avenue was the scene of a daring daylight robbery and shooting.
14. Courses taught online offer an alternative to the traditional college classroom learning experience.
15. One year ago an accrediting agency criticized the college for using too many adjuncts (part-time faculty members). Since then, the college has reduced its number of adjuncts from 769 to 749.

Tuesday/ Thursday, November 10/12: What Are Leads?

News of the Day:   

 

We are working on the fundamentals of how to write a news story. Please read the above  picture to anchor yourself. In order for you to write an effective news story, you must have an understanding of how to write a lead. Below you will find detailed information. So that you read carefully- and to emphasize the salient points of lead writing- please respond to the following questions. You, of course, may copy and paste as you read.  This is due by the close of class on Thursday. That means that Wednesday is really a holiday for you! Note: unless you receive extended time, any material received after the close of class will be deducted 25 points for its tardiness. During the first quarter I accepted late work for its accuracy with no late deductions. NO LONGER.  Please stay on task and earn full credit. News leads questions: 1. Write two words that rhyme with the correct pronunciation of lead. 2. How long is a lead? 3. What is a typical lead called? 4. What is the purpose of a lead? 5. What are the two parts of a news story? 6. What is the function of the body of the story? 7. How is the body of a story constructed? 8. List the 5 Ws and the H. 9.  Which of the above should ideally be addressed in the lead? 10. What is a news peg? 11. What is a whammy? 12. What does it mean to "feature the feature"? 13. What types of nouns and verbs should a lead have? 14. How many words should one find in a lead? 15. Name three things not found in a lead. 16. For the most part, how many sentences should one find in a lead? 17. How does one determine what is featured in the lead? 18. What does a name lead feature? 19. What does an event lead feature? 20. What type of voice requires that the subject of the sentence act? 21. What does a cause lead feature? 22. What does a place lead feature? 23. What are the two most used opening features for leads? 24. What are the two least used features for leads? The respones are due by 6pm on Thursday, after which 25 points will be deducted. You have adequate class time. Those receiving extended time have until Friday at 6. Lead Writing The opening of a news story is called the lead (pronounced lede). It is usually one paragraph, and is usually only one sentence. The typical lead is called a summary lead or straight summary lead, and it, of course, summarizes the story; in other words, it tells the entire story in miniature as specifically as possible. Your job as a journalist, therefore, is to write a clear, fairly short sentence that reveals all, telling the end result of the story. Someone should be able to read the lead and be informed about what happened without reading the rest of the story. A news story essentially has two parts, the lead, which gives the gist of the story, and the body, which adds details and expands on information given in the lead. The body is written in inverted pyramid style: short paragraphs in descending order of importance.We'll be analyzing news stories for their  inverted pyramid style.
The All-Important Lead A summary lead should answer two or more of the 5W's and H: who, what, when, where, why and how. Include those that are important to inform the reader. Usually, however, the lead will include, as a minimum, the who, what and when. In deciding what to include in the lead, ask yourself: 1. What is the first question a reader would ask? 2.  What is the first thing you would tell another person about the situation or event? This is often called the news peg; it is the reason for doing the story, that aspect that makes an event or occurrence newsworthy. Your lead might also focus on what journalists call the whammy, which is the fact or facts that make the story unique. When writing the lead, you should attempt to feature the feature, which means to put the most important aspect or main point first in the paragraph. Grab the reader's attention with the news immediately, without making him or her read through introductory words to find out what happened. This isn't radio or television news, where the reporter may slide into the heart of the story after an introductory sentence or two, which may be necessary so the listener will not miss important information. The written news story needs no such prompt, and if you slide into the story slowly you'll lose your reader. Newspaper readers expect to be informed about what happened immediately -- no beating around the bush. Leads should:  open with bright, interesting, colorful nouns and verbs  be brief (often only 20-30 words)  be, for the most part, one sentence in length  be crisp and to the point  effectively summarize the story  "feature the feature"  include attribution (the source) if needed for credibility  give the title for any person mentioned  not include personal pronouns such as "we" and "you"  not include reporter opinion FEATURE THE FEATURE Depending on what you decide is most important, any one of the 5W's or H could be featured, which means it is placed first in the opening sentence. Take a look at the follow facts: Who: Washington television station What: withdrew from a project to construct a 1,200-foot television transmitting tower When: today Where: in Silver Spring Why: declining revenues How: board of directors decided The lead might read: A Washington television station announced its withdrawal today from a project to construct a 1,200-foot television transmitting tower in Silver Spring. Which ever of the 5W's is mentioned first is featured in the lead. 1 When the who is featured, it is called a name lead. The example above is a name lead. It features the Washington television station. 2 When the what is featured, it is called an event lead. Withdrawal from a project to construct a 1,200-foot television tower in Silver Spring was announced today by a Washington television station. This lead, however, is awkward because it is in passive voice; in other words, the one doing the action (the Washington television station) is at the end of the sentence as the object. Active voice requires that the subject of the sentence act, which means placing it first in the sentence, as in the first first example. We'll talk more about active/passive voice in a later activity. 3 When the when is featured, it is called a time lead. Today a Washington television station announced its withdrawal from a project to construct a 1,200-foot television transmitting tower in Silver Spring. 4 When the where is featured, it is called a place lead. A Silver Spring project to construct a 1,200-foot television transmitting tower was canceled today by a Washington television station. This, too, is passive rather than active voice. 5 When the why is featured it is called a cause lead. Because of declining revenues, a Washington television station announced its withdrawal today from a project to construct a 1,200-foot television transmitting tower in Silver Spring. 6 When how is featured, it is called a manner lead. After a decision by the board of directors of a Washington television station, a project to construct a 1,200-foot television transmitting tower in Silver Spring has been canceled The most used openings for leads are the who and the what. The least used, in other words the weakest, are where and when. Rarely are place and time the most important aspects of the story, although they are usually included in the lead paragraph. Below are examples of leads which feature the various 5W's & H. The words that make up the "W" that is featured are in bold face type. Who Many gay and bisexual teens know plenty about AIDS and still don't protect themselves against the disease, two studies indicate. A railroad worker threw a switch too soon and sent an Amtrak passenger train crashing head-on into a parked freight train, killing two people and injuring 44 others, investigators said Saturday. (However, even though this begins with the who, the lead co-features the why, the cause of the train wreck.) Reckless drivers who don't seem to be drunk may well be high on cocaine or marijuana, according to roadside tests that indicate drugs may rival alcohol as a hazard on the highway. What Jars and cans tumbled off store shelves and telephone poles swayed when an earthquake that was a "real good shaker" rumbled through Central California yesterday. A pack of wild monkeys terrorized a seaside resort town south of Tokyo last week, attacking 30 people and sending eight of them to the hospital with bites. (This also CO-features the who.) A would-be victim turned the tables on a suspected burglar early Sunday, sending him running from her house with a bullet wound to his chest, police said. (This also CO-features the who.) A Soyus spacecraft docked flawlessly with the Mir space station Saturday, bringing a fresh crew of two Russian cosmonauts and a Frenchman to the orbiting outpost -- along with a bottle of French wine.             Why With more amateurs cutting wood for use as an alternative to high-priced heating oil, hospitals are coping with an increasing number of injuries due to chain-saw accidents, reported the American College of Surgeons. Two railway technicians who overlooked a wheel problem may be charged with negligent manslaughter in Germany's worst rail disaster, a news magazine reported Saturday. (This also CO-features the who.) How Louisiana-Pacific Corp. plans to sell seven out-of-state lumber mills and expand production at 17 others in order to boost output by up to 40 percent. (The how in this lead is also the what.)Examples of when and where leads are not given here because you should avoid using them. Professionals avoid them, so examples are hard to find. We can learn how to feature the feature, and avoid other mistakes, by looking at examples of poorly written leads. WHAT NOT TO DO. NOT TO DO Incorrect: Sen. Robert Brown spoke to the assembled student body of Oakdale High School at 3 p.m. in the high school gym. Who spoke is usually secondary in importance to what was said. And, the mechanical details -- time, date and place -- do not necessarily have to be included in the lead, since the event has already taken place. They can be worked in later, perhaps the second or third paragraph. "Assembled student body" is a burdensome, unnecessary phrase, and "high school" is used twice in one paragraph. Avoid repetition. Incorrect: At 3 p.m., March 18, in the high school gym, Robert Brown spoke. Time and date (the when angle) are almost never important enough to merit first consideration in the lead, yet they are often used to kick off a speech story. The heart of this story is not included in the lead at all. Note, too, that in this reference the title for Robert Brown (senator) has been omitted. Titles should always be included on the first mention of an individual in the story. Incorrect: To further our interest in ecology, Sen. Robert Brown spoke today in the high school gym. The why angle is usually not the most important aspect of a story and, therefore, it seldom works as the take-off point for a news story. Also, the use of second person (our), unless it's in a direct quotation, should be avoided in news writing. Incorrect: Last Friday, March 18, all of the sophomore, junior and senior students assembled in the gymnasium. After Student Body President Gary Winchman led the students in the flag salute, Vice Principal Barry Jones presented Sen. Robert Brown, who talked about ecology. This is filled to the brim with details that don't belong in a lead. It is basically written in chronological order rather than focusing on the "feature." It is dull, too long, and needs severe copy editing. In fact, it needs complete rewriting. It is also more than one sentence; most leads can be written as one smooth, flowing sentence. Incorrect: "We must clean up our rivers and streams and get the internal combustion machine out of the automobile and sit hard on the Food and Drug Administration to remove additives from our foods if we are ever going to clean up the air we breath and make our world a pleasant place to live in again," stated Robert Brown, senator, to the assembled student body of Oakdale High School on Friday, March 18, in the gym at 3 p.m. The quotation is too long, covers too many subjects for the lead. In addition, mechanical details such as date and time, can be worked in later. Since the event has already happened it is not necessary to tell the readers the place and exact time in the lead. "Stated" is a stuffy, greatly over-used word for attribution. Save it for quoting material from official documents rather than people. Correct Example: Pollution must be stopped and air and water cleaned up in order to make the world more livable, Sen. Robert Brown told students at Oakdale High School last Friday. This lead zeroes in on the main message delivered, which is what the audience would be interested in, and it gives the source at the end of the lead rather than at the beginning. Since Brown's exact words are not given, no quotation marks are used. Correct if writing for your school newspaper and Brown spoke at your school: Pollution must be stopped and air and water cleaned up in order to make the world more livable, Sen. Robert Brown told students last Friday. It is not necessary to give the name of the high school, since he spoke at the school and the newspaper is written for and distributed to the school community. Notice that this lead summarizes or  paraphrases what the senator said rather than giving a direct quotation. The story would then elaborate on what he had to say about these topics, using direct quotations, indirect quotations and paraphrases. (But that's a topic for another day.